10 years and 3 degrees later

The end of a chapter

I was 15 when I first attended an ‘Introduction to medicine’ summer school for students from disadvantaged backgrounds. Last month, almost exactly 10 years later, I passed my medical school final exams and graduated from the same university that first planted the idea that one day, I, too, could become a doctor. Now, a month since graduating, I cant help but reflect on what this chapter of my life has allowed me to become.

Those who knew me then and know me now, know that my journey of becoming a doctor has more or less framed my life throughout my early 20s. Following my GCSEs, becoming a doctor has been my dream. Throughout my years, I aligned all my decisions around my studies. Friends graduated and left, I remained. Every summer, there was an exam to sit and pass. Revision months loomed like rain-filled clouds. And the summer was always eagerly awaited. The eldest of three boys, the first to attend university from my family and now the first medic in the family.

‘Hi, my name is Ivan, I’m a medical student’

‘So you're still studying?’

‘Yes, yes I am…’

I grew up without knowing any other black male doctors. I grew up without knowing whether my dreams were as delusional as the narrative society would have me believe about black men. The truth is the statistics would bet against my achievements every time. I am the anomaly to the numbers and data points on the graph. A 26-year-old black male, the first generation of a lower-income background, state school educated, with BSc and MSc, qualifying as a doctor from the 9th best medical school in the world and now CEO and founder of a venture capital backed company. From the outside, my accomplishments feel like a jackpot equivalence of achievement, in terms of possibility. From the inside, all I can say is that it is the result of strong faith in God, a supportive family and an unwavering desire to fight to be more and prove the statistics wrong.

Throughout this pursuit, I knew the odds were stacked against me. I knew I was paddling against the current of society. Every milestone, required of me more than most to overcome. Good enough was never good enough. But, even with that, I didn’t let the strong tides stop me from swimming into uncharted waters. 

I was far from a conventional medical student. I started two businesses whilst at medical school, interned at four different companies during my summers and worked in the States twice. My last internship with Deepmind at Google, working on world-changing products to preserve the eyesight of people across the world with early detection and diagnosis. I completed two additional degrees whilst at medical school, a BSc in Global Health and MSc in Data Science. I won multiple awards, scholarships and grants in excess of £50k and recently co-produced a critically acclaimedAudible original uncovering racial bias in medicine. Not bad for a black boy from south London.

But don’t let these achievements demise the challenges that I had to overcome. I lost hundreads of pounds of my own money on both businesses, I once temporarily lost central vision in both my eyes and was diagnosed with Central serous retinopathy due to stress approaching my first clinical exams. I was rejected by a number of companies who thought I lacked experience or decided I should be unpaid. I failed more than 4 applications for student funding and many more awards that I didn’t receive, and grants that I applied to the best of my ability but was rejected. Finally, and most painfully, I failed my final exams this year - one of only three in the year to do so. But I passed on the retakes five weeks later. 

Both the achievements and the failures go hand in hand. To understand the reward without being aware of the risks is to misunderstand what it takes to become. It has taken me a few weeks to start to come to terms with the fact that this chapter of my life is now closed. For seven years I have been at university; for the last 10 years, I have been in school studying in the pursuit of higher education.

I can’t tell you how many times I have wanted to give up. When the exams felt endless when studying medicine felt misaligned to the future I wanted for myself. When I lost the confidence in myself to get to the finish line because it all felt too hard. And frankly, I was one of few, I thought, for a reason. Having been through it all and looking back to those moments, I can say the persistence that drove me to keep going has now shaped me. The patience to keep going despite shinier things appearing in my view has made me a stronger man. 

Through it all, I am grateful to have been given the opportunity to become the man, I am today. Yes absolutely, I worked my ass off for this. But I also know I was lucky. Things out of my control aligned in such a way that a higher force had to also be of influence. This influence is what informs my faith. I am a Christian. I grew up as one and have let my faith inform my life. Without God, I know I will not have been where I am today. Also, I know without a supportive family, friends that pushed and inspired me, a set of mentors that selflessly gave up their time, a sense of self-belief and the willingness to just keep going. All these things are the reason I am, where I am today. What am I saying is that there is no one thing that makes the difference, but it’s the intersection of many influential things in our lives that does. 

I don’t intend this piece to be a how-to guide, nor a top 10 things I learnt whilst becoming a doctor. Instead, this is simply a stream of thoughts that I can’t but share with the world, as I look back on the last 10 years in pursuit of what I have today achieved. 

There are so many people to thank who have influenced my life and led me to this point. I can’t possibly name them all. But to you all who came into my life on this journey and showed kindness and support. Thank you. This is by far the greatest achievement of my life and you undoubtedly had an influence, whether small or large.

I still need time to fully absorb the end of this decade long pursuit. But I will end by saying to all the young black boys and girls out there who are so misunderstood, unsupported, and forgotten by society, you can make whatever reality you hope for yourself, possible. Where you are today, does not define what potential is inside of you, unless you let it. You are swimming against the current. Do not be fooled otherwise. But the struggle required to get through will strengthen you in a way few are strengthened. It will also break you in ways few will be broken. Find the healthy things that give you strength and cling to them for dear life. You will fail. Your failures do not define you. It is simply a signal that a new way of doing things is required. Use failure to guide you to success not persuade that you are incapable. Every negative experience has an opportunity to ignite something positive but you will have to find it. Change is necessary for growth, let failure fuel your growth. Do not do something for the fear of failure alone. Don’t give up too quickly, hard things take time. The things that will most proud of will take time. Take each step, one at a time. You will want things to be over as soon as they get started. Nature does not rush yet everything is accomplished. You will want to give up when you feel discomfort. Don’t. Take a break. Reflect on whether you still want this for your life. If yes, maintain your pursuit. Anything worth doing will be hard. Find the things that give you energy and channel that energy into the actions that like make your dreams a reality. Be aware. Be conscious. Distraction is the default in our society. To focus you have to be intentional. You don’t have to be like or do like anyone else to be successful. Find your way amongst the many ways. Be humble, commit to incremental gains, pay attention to the important things that influence your life. Your habits, your self-talk, your close friends, your mental health. Pay less attention to the things that matter less, you know what they are. Change is the only constant in our world. Embrace it, don’t fight it.

One of the fondest memories while attending the summer school 10 years ago was hearing from medical students and doctors from similar backgrounds to me who repeated a number of times, ‘If I can do it, so can you.’ It seemed at the time something they had to say. But looking back I realise they were simply telling the truth.

So if you’re reading this, and you feel like you want to find out more about a career in medicine, or any career in fact, but you are afraid you are not good enough, it’s too competitive, and you don’t see people who look like you become who you want to come. I have one simple thing to say. If I can do it, with all my heart, I promise you, you can do too. 

With ❤️

Dr Ivan Beckley